


Humor Me Even Though I'm Mad

by moonylovespancakes



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crossover, F/M, Fandom crossover, Haruhi! Remus, Hitachiin Twins! Gideon & Fabian Prewett, Honey! Peter, Kyoya! James, M/M, Marauders At Ouran, Maybe more than slight, Mori! Kingsley, Slight Incest, Tamaki! Sirius, Trans! Remus
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-16
Updated: 2015-02-19
Packaged: 2018-03-13 04:35:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3368078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonylovespancakes/pseuds/moonylovespancakes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus Lupin is transferred to Hogwarts Academy where he stumbled across the Hogwarts Host Club which consisted of Sirius Black, James Potter, Peter Pettigrew, Fabian and Gideon Prewett, and Kingsley Shacklebolt. </p><p>(A/N. Crossover where the OHSHC members are replaced with the marauders and a few choice characters.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. How Directions and Ideas Can Go Bad

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own none of these characters, ideas, places, etc. It all belongs to the authors and creators of Harry Potter and Ouran High School Host Club.
> 
> (A/N. Might have a few grammatical errors that I didn't catch. If I slip up, just let me know. Will fix right away.)
> 
> ~Hope you enjoy~

_Alice, do you think I will be able to survive here? Send me a sign because I don't think I will._

The mere amount of people in one place startled Remus. He kept forgetting that so many students could be at this rather large academy. Even though it was only the library, it was rather packed and quite loud. "I'll never be able to find a quiet place to study here," he murmured to himself before gently closing the door. He was halfway through his first day here, and yet, he still wasn't used to this place. Hogwarts Academy...the school for the rich. It seemed so unlikely Remus would be accepted to this place. The idea still amazed him.

The school was rather large and open with a countless amount of rooms and passageways. He had already gotten lost twice on his way to class. They didn't have any maps to help him and no one to actually escort him room to room, so by this point, Remus was all on his own as he usually was. He was told that the entirety of the school grounds consisted of about 25 acres which included the small woods around the school.

Remus backed away from the door before making his way up a row of steep stairs towards the next level. _Maybe there's an empty classroom I could use_ , he pondered, and just about when he had, Remus stumbled across a pair of doors he had never noticed before.

Music Room #3.

He couldn't hear anything from inside, so he considered that it was either abandoned or just not being used for the time being. It wouldn't hurt to check. Remus pushed on the door, hesitantly, and what he found on the other side shocked him. The first thing he noticed about the room was that it was rather large with light green walls. Numerous tables and a few couches were scattered along the room, accompanied by a small group of people that Remus almost mistaken for furniture by how well they fit in to the scenery.

"Welcome," the furniture-like group said in unison from the middle of the room. They must have a lot of practice, "to Hogwarts Host Club." Remus blanched. Host club? A boy with dark, shaggy hair sat up from a chair where he had been lounging from. He had been the only one sitting. A sign of leadership, Remus noticed.

"You must be the new honor student," the boy said with confidence, but it wouldn't have taken much to notice either way. Remus was the only one not wearing one of the expensive uniforms. He had pulled one of his father's old sweaters and one of his own black trousers. It had seemed formal enough, until he had viewed the rest of what the students had been wearing here.

Remus quickly turned and tried to reopen the door. This time though, the door wouldn't budge. "Fabian...Gideon, I believe this young man is in the same class as you, am I correct?" Remus paused for a quick second. 'Young man'? The voice didn't belong to whom he presumed was the leader. Remus turned slightly to see that it belonged to a boy with messy brown hair that stuck up in odd, but perfect angles. Like Remus, he sported glasses, though they were thin-rimmed while Remus' were thick, and faintly tinted darker. It hid his tired eyes well.

The two he was referring to were a pair of twins who were almost completely identical, if it wasn't for the fact that their hair was parted differently. He watched as they moved in perfect sync and even talked unanimously. It was so weird, but again, so perfect. "Yes, but he doesn't say much unless he has to answer a question in class." How do they do that? "Except for the fact that he's incredibly smart, we don't know all that much about him." The twins shrugged and looked at each other with confused faces.

The boy with glasses smirked. "Well, we'll have to learn then, won't we?" Remus, on the other hand, wasn't for the idea. He was still trying his best to open the door. "Welcome to the Hogwarts Host Club, Mr. Honor Student."

The leader of the group stood in a hurry from the chair, nearly tipping it over. "I should have known! You must be Remus Lupin. A commoner, I believe." He pointed a finger at Remus. "We've heard a lot about you." Remus stopped his attempts for a second, turning his head to stare at the leader. "How do you know my name?" he asked in a nervous, shaky voice. His eyebrows pulled together, glasses slipping down the bridge of his rather large nose slightly.

The boy with glasses spoke. "You're pretty famous around here," he stepped around the cushioned chair. "It's once in a blue moon that we get a commoner as a student, Mr. Lupin." The boy perched himself on the arm of the chair, crossing one leg over the other. He balanced a black book on his thighs.

The leader walked over to Remus slowly. "You must be pretty brave to try and get into this school, but I also give points for determination," he said in a knowing tone. Remus' eyebrow twitched, nerves high.

"Well, th--thanks, I guess. You know, I should be going." He reached behind himself, trying and trying to pull on the door.

"You're welcome!" The leader had made it to Remus, slipping an arm around his shoulders and pulling him away from the door. Remus' fingers slipped away from the handle with resistance. "You're pretty much an example for other poor people who want to join. Like a hero, of sorts." Remus slid away from under the black haired boy's arm, noticing the small pointed looks at the scars on his face. Remus tried edging away, but the boy followed, gracefully following with long, lanky legs. "It must've been so hard for you. All the tests, and the scrutiny of people of a higher status than you." Remus tried backing towards the door, but the other boy was ruthless and oblivious of Remus' attempts to leave.

"I think you might be taking this poor thing too far, you know. I'm not that low in money." He ducked away from the boy's arms.

"You must've been so scared...neglected!"

"I can hold my own."

"You won't be alone anymore now though." _I wish I was_ , Remus thought, begrudgingly. "We welcome you to our school full of perfect, beautiful students."

"I'm just going to go now," Remus muttered, walking towards the door with hunched shoulders. 'Perfect'? 'Beautiful'? 'Rich'? Man, this guy's ego had no limit.

A hand grabbed Remus' though and led him backwards. "You shouldn't go! Come back here! You can be a hero and join the club where you can meet all the girls you want. Then you wouldn't be so alone..." a child's voice persisted. Remus turned, seeing the owner of the hand and the very young voice was a tiny boy with big, blue eyes and blonde hair. The young boy looked like he shouldn't even in this club. Was he even in high school?

"I'm not actually a hero at all; I'm a student...and _what do you mean by girls_?" Remus asked loudly, cheeks bright red and eyes wide. _Get me out of here_ , he begged in his thoughts to no one in particular.

The leader swung his way over. "I never would have thought that the quiet scholar would be so openly homosexual."

"Wait, what?" Remus' eyes cast up to the ceiling before back down at his feet. "Openly--?"

The leader interrupted. "So, tell me. Who do you prefer?" He practically skipped over to the rest of the group, a smirk wide on his face. Remus wanted to slap it off. "What is your type, specifically?"

The leader pointed at a very tall, skinny man with dark, brown skin and a head full of black hair. "The strong type with a mysterious, quiet side?"

"The boy-Lolita type? Young looks affect a number of people, you know," he pointed out as he gestured to the little boy from earlier. _I guess he is a high school student after all_.

The leader waved his arm to the set of twins, Gideon and Fabian. "The mischievous kind? It's cool if you have a thing for twins. A lot of our customers do, actually. Especially if they have homosexual tendencies."

"'Homosexual tendencies'? What kind of school is this?" Remus whispered to himself, rubbing his perspiring forehead.

"Or do you like the cool type?" The one he was referring to was the one with glasses. The boy pushed his glasses back up his nose as they began to slip, his small smile twitching. Something told Remus that he was the brains behind this whole operation.

The leader made his way back to Remus, walking forward enough to be in his personal space. Remus began to step backwards, eyes growing wider and wider. "I, uh. I, uh, was just looking for a quiet place to study, really. I didn't even know that a host club even existed at a place," the leader chased a finger along one of the two scars on Remus' face, "like this!" His words came out in a rush as he dropped his books in surprise.

"Or you could even go for someone like _me_. So, what do you think?" Remus just shook his head and took a step backwards though the heel of his foot got caught on one of the fallen books, making him stumble into a stand behind him. Remus gasped, feeling something tip. He turned in time to see a vase begin to rock to and fro before falling backwards.

"Oh, no!" He lunged forwards. His fingers tried to grasp the handle. So close. The dark green vase brushed his fingers as it fell before crashing to the floor and shattering. So many pieces... The twins appeared on either side of him. Remus kept gasping for breath, heart racing. _Why me?_

"You've really done it now, commoner. That vase was supposed to be in an auction later this week." The twin on his right side, leaned around Remus to address his other half. "It was supposed to be 64,000, right?" The twin being addressed nodded.

"64, 000!" Remus straightened, hands shaking. "I'll pay you back, I promise," he exclaimed with urgency. Remus absolutely hated owing people, but how was he going to get the money anyways? How much was it again? "Maybe if I go back to my job I could." The last bit was whispered to himself.

The one with the glasses spoke. "With what money? By the looks of it, you couldn't even afford a school uniform. Sirius, what do you expect we do?" Remus' breathing accelerated as he kept a shaking head to his forehead, trying to calm himself.

The leader--Sirius--rubbed his chin. "Well, as they say, do as the Romans do. So, Mr. Lupin, you can either be forever in debt or maybe, just maybe, join our little club and become a host member!"

_I don't think I was cut out for this, Alice. These people have taken me hostage, and are forcing me into their cult._

Remus turned very slowly, staring at the group that gathered a few feet around him, staring at him questionably. 64, 000? Remus slowly ducked his head, taking a deep breath. He felt frozen. One of them poked his shoulder and it was a domino effect. Remus tipped forwards, fainting. He landed with a small thud. The last thing he heard before he blacked out completely gave him a spring of irritation. "Wow, I guess commoners are a lot frailer that I thought!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It wasn't until later that day that Remus fully understood Sirius when he said 'host member'. Remus wasn't even much of a member. More like an errands boy of sorts. Two times already he had been ordered to go to the supermarket that day. After the second time, when he came back with a brown bag full of items, the club had already started. The first thing he had noticed was a group of girls surrounding Sirius, on the edge of their seats as they listened to him talk. He did have a pleasant voice, but Remus didn't think it was pleasant enough for him to gasp and giggle at every word he said. There was only one girl not on the edge of her seat. She sat there in a rather bored manner, staring at her nails with speculation. Remus watched as she turned to Sirius, whispering something in his ear. Sirius seemed to freeze mid-sentence, turning to look at Remus before going back to the girl with black hair. As Remus crept closer to a table to drop of the requested items, he overheard part of the conversation.

"--I've heard that the Host Club has an errand boy now. The new honor student, correct? I'm surprised, Sirius. I never would have thought you would have allowed someone of such a low class to join," the black haired girl reprimanded.

Sirius shrugged. "I wouldn't call him low class though..." He looked up to see Remus putting down the groceries.

"Ah! There you are, our little puppy."

He narrowed his eyes at Sirius. "'Puppy'?" Remus whispered to himself in disbelief, eyebrows furrowed.

"Did you get everything on the list James gave you?"

"The one with the glasses? Yeah, I guess, though I didn't know what many of these brands were." Remus began to grab items out of the bag, placing them on the table as Sirius got up, stalking over. He picked up one of the boxes, staring at it. "What's this? Instant coffee? Boxed rice? I've never heard of these before."

Remus stared at Sirius with open judgment. "If you don't like it, I can go ahead and go back to the supermarket," for the third time today ", and get a different brand though I don't think they carry the sort of br--"

Sirius waved a hand, cutting him off. He grabbed the instant coffee and walked back to the couch, reading the cover. "Just add hot water? This is interesting." Some of the other members and customers gathered around the couch where Sirius sat, studying it along with him.

"These damn rich people have never even heard of instant coffee? What's this world coming to?" muttered Remus, putting everything back into the bag. "I'll just take it back. It's not worth complaining about."

Sirius must have heard him. Not taking his eyes off the label, he disagreed. "No, no. I'm not complaining. Actually, just leave it there. This commoners coffee stuff looks amazing."

The twins piped in, excitedly. "It's a lot faster to make and a lot less expensive than the stuff we usually get. Are all items like this for you?" They glanced at Remus who just nodded, and placed the bag on the table. He turned to leave, but Sirius interrupted his escape.

"Remus, come over here for a quick second. I have someone I want you to meet." Remus did as he was told, hands linked behind his back. Sirius gestured to the girl beside him who had made the comment earlier. "This is my cousin, Bellatrix Black. Bellatrix, this is Remus Lupin, the boy I took under my wing."

Bellatrix looked completely out of person in the yellow dress with layered on eyeliner and mascara. She looked Remus up and down with a distasteful look on her face before plastering on a fake smile. "Nice to meet you," she murmured though her tone said otherwise. "He really shouldn't be drinking commoner's coffee. It could ruin his palate," Bellatrix thought out loud, making sure Remus heard. It worked because his cheeks turned hot.

"Remus! Come over here and make some of this coffee!" Remus lifted his head up to see that Sirius had moved places without Remus noticing. He sighed.

"I'm coming," he answered as Sirius began to repeat himself. Remus trudged over and stood behind a table where a bunch of the girls had gathered on the other side, trying to see the process. "It's very simple. I don't get why you're making such a big deal out of it." He grabbed the teapot that was handed to him gently and began to pour the water into a few cups before adding the already ground coffee. 

Sirius quickly took the first cup, peeking at the contents before taking a quick sip. His eyes lit up as he went over to stand next to a blond girl. "Here take a sip of this," he suggested.

The girl looked hesitant. "I don't know if I should."

Pouting, Sirius leaned in towards the girl. "What if I serve it to you?" He pressed the rim of the cup into her bottom lip gently.

The girl giggled, eyes turning wide. She answered rather quickly, "then I'll drink it." A lot of the girls fawned over it, making Remus want to gag.

He quickly turned away, lips pursed. "This is ridiculous. I never knew people could go so crazy over some simple coffee." He took the time to study the other member's behavior with their customers. The twins, Gideon and Fabian Prewett, were busy telling a story to a few girls a few feet away from the table where everyone else was.

Remus listened in, inconspicuously. "--the nightmare must have frightened him a ton because I woke up to him clutching my arm." One of the girls gasped, hand pressed to her mouth.

 _Such overreaction should be outlawed_ , Remus thought.

Fabian turned to Gideon, cheeks red as his eyes began to water with tears. "Gideon, I thought you promised never to tell that story! Why must you be so cruel about my secrets?" Remus watched the scene with a slightly confused frown. Fabian ducked his head in a shy manner, but Gideon caught his chin with the tips of his fingers.

"I'm sorry, Fabian, but you were just so cute cuddling against my arm for comfort." Gideon leaned in, lips turning apologetic. "Why shouldn't they be able to know the torment I went through?"

The girls squealed in delight, bouncing up and down. "I don't think I can handle this much longer," one girl admitted. The others quickly agreed with her. Remus shook his head, running a hand through his hair. It was awful today. Sticking up in the back in a fuzzy mess from where he had slept on it. A few random strands stuck up on the sides as well, reluctant to give in under the course of water this morning. Why couldn't his hair stick up perfectly like James'?

Remus sighed softly before his eyes averted to a set of doors opening where the tiny blonde boy, who Remus found a bit earlier that his name was Peter Pettigrew, appeared on top of Kingsley's shoulders. Kingsley was the last one for Remus to find out the identity of. He had been the very tall, dark skinned boy. He seemed to be very quiet, only speaking when he had to or when Peter talked to him, though when he did, it was as small as a few worded phase.

In Peter's hands was a small plate with what looked like a piece of dessert on top of it. Peter yawned which made the customers who had been waiting for him giggle. "Hey, Peter! Hi, Kingsley!" A few said, waiting until the duo sat down in a chair. Kingsley reached up and plucked Peter off his shoulders with ease before setting him down on the chair beside him.

Peter rubbed his eyes with the back of his small fists. "Sorry, we're late. I was told the cooks were making a new recipe of cake and I had to try it, so I took Kingsley with me. But because of it, I missed naptime and was late. I'm really sorry!" He sniffed quietly, staring at his feet that swung to and fro being that his legs weren't long enough for his feet to touch the floor.

The girls panicked, quickly dismissing his apologies and saying that it was alright. Peter yawned again, causing his eyes to water and a few tears to leak. Kingsley leaned forward and brushed them away, gently.

"So cute!" the girls squealed, grins alighting on their excited faces.

"This is impossible. How can girls freak out over guys so much? It's--It's unbelievable," Remus said to himself in disbelief, adjusting his falling glasses. He hadn't worn them in so long. He was going to have to order his contacts soon, or risk his only pair of glasses falling off. Remus hadn't even noticed James come to stand next to him.

"Oh, quite the contrary actually. I've come to known that girls can be completely crazy about the male gender. We've had a few cases where they tried to steal a lock of Sirius' hair." James turned his head to grin at Remus. "Sometimes, I don't understand the concept either. Peter is interested in cake more than he is about anything else in general, except Kingsley," James tried explaining, though it didn't work. He had his black book pressed against his hip, fingers curled around the edge tightly. "That's the allure though. Peter has the innocence and Kingsley has his protective side to back it up. The perfect duo, if you ask me."

Remus smiled back slightly, crossing his arms over his chest. His fingers curled into this fabric of his sweater out of habit, clutching at the material. "How long has this club been active?"

James reached and opened up his book, thumbing through the pages in the beginning of the book. "Almost a year ago now. The youngest here in age, and well club status, is you." Remus gave him a confused look. "If you're questioning the age of Peter, he's 16 and just about to turn 17. They are both in their third year of high school. Sirius and I are both second years. Then the twins, as you should know, are in your grade."

Remus began to say something, but felt a tug on his arm. He looked down to find Peter grinning up at him. How could he be so small and eat so much cake? "Remmy!" Remus blinked hard at the nickname, swallowing thickly. "You wanna play? Here, you should play with me and Padfoot!" Peter stuck a stuffed animal in Remus' face. Padfoot? Remus leaned back to get a look at the toy to see it was a black puppy-shaped teddy bear. "Or we can eat cake!"

Remus shook his head slightly with an apologetic smile. "Sorry, I'm not a big fan of sweets and such." He pressed a hand to his cheek, already worrying about the cavities. He hasn't had one so far, and he'd like to keep it that way. "Nor am I into, um, dogs." He gently pushed the stuffed animal away before sneezing. His sneeze was very tiny and high pitched, and also resulted in the curious becoming of Sirius.

Sirius wound his way over away from the girls before pressing his hands on Remus' shoulders. "That was one of the most adorable things I've ever heard and saw," he said, rocking Remus back and forth. Remus reached up, pinching the fabric of Sirius' sleeves to pull his hands of his shoulders.

"Uh, thanks, I guess." He quickly ducked away from Sirius as he felt the symptoms of another sneeze making it's way. He practically hid behind James as he sneezed into the fabric of his own elbow. He heard Sirius gasp and then felt hands at his waist, pulling him away from the shielding of James. "Wait! No. Hold on!" Remus pleaded, struggling as Sirius swung him around in a tight hug. Remus reached out, hoping that Sirius wouldn't feel the lump on his chest. Remus quickly called out to the first person he could clearly see. "Kingsley, help me!" He only saw the tall, muscular boy stand up, and before Remus knew it, he was out of the arms of Sirius and being held up by Kingsley. Remus dangled in Kingsley's hands.

"Kingsley, you can put down Mr. Lupin now," said James. Immediately, Remus was put down.

"Thank you," he murmured to Kingsley who only nodded in return. Peter bounced over. His dog was laying in the crook of his arm.

"Do you mind holding Padfoot while I drink tea? I don't want him to get any on him like last time," Peter explained the last bit in a pouty voice, his bottom lip jutted out.

Remus nodded as he was handed Padfoot. "Sure. He is kind of cute after all." Peter gave him a weird look before he went back to his table where Kingsley and the girls sat. Remus had almost forgotten that Sirius was there until he felt a quick blow of hot air on the back of his left ear. Remus jumped away with a small squeak. He slapped a hand on the back of his neck, glaring at Sirius. "Could you please not do that? It's weird."

"You know, you should really reconsider your choice of appearance. With that sort of look, no one is going to notice you," Sirius pointed out, waving a hand up and down at Remus as if that would simplify Sirius' accusation.

Remus shrugged. "I really don't care if people 'notice' me. I'm too busy with my studies anyways." Remus stared at the toy dog in his hands as a distraction. "Looks aren't everything, you know."

Sirius ran a hand through his hair, staring at Remus with an awed look. "Are you kidding me? Looks are very important around here. It helps please the ladies. For example, moi. If I were ugly, no girls would request me."

"I just don't see the importance of looks. If I look ugly, I look ugly. I care more about the aspects of personalities and like or dislikes, than the features on their face," Remus remarked, nonchalantly.

"That was like poetry, but I still have to say you're wrong. Looks matter to you, but you just won't acknowledge it. If everyone was as gorgeous as I am, maybe looks wouldn't matter then. Sadly, though, that isn't the case," Sirius marveled. Sirius slid around Remus towards a small table.

"Uh, what?" Remus questioned, pondering if someone's confidence could actually be this huge.

"Manners matter, too, especially higher class rules. How to eat, sit, talk, etc., are all important in status." Remus slowly tuned him out, clutching Padfoot with irritation. There was a word to describe Sirius though he couldn't exactly get it to appear in his mind.

"There's a word to describe him, but what is it?" Remus muttered, head tilted down in thought. He tapped his finger against his chin in rhythm.

"--if you were to talk to a girl, you let her talk about her own problems first and then--" Annoying? "--address her questions first before you ask your--" Overbearing, or maybe just oblivious to how much he talks about himself? "--needs are more important than yours when it comes to bei--"

"Oh, I remember! Egotistical!" Remus exclaimed to himself, an achieved smile appearing.

Sirius paused, slumping over the table in a 'woe is me' gesture, arm flown over his eyes. "'Egotistical'?"

Remus hunched slightly as he felt new weight added onto his shoulders. He looked to his right first slowly to see Fabian, grinning over at Sirius. Remus noted that Fabian was using his shoulder has a rest for his arm.

"I believe he has you pegged, Sirius," Fabian called over to Sirius, winking down at Remus.

"It's true. Right on the dot, I just might add," said the one on the left. Remus turned his head to see Gideon, smirking down at Remus instead. "You were right though, Sirius."

Sirius perked up, twirling around to stand beside James. "He needs a make-over," they said in unison, twisting Remus around so they both stood in front of him. Gideon reached down and pinched each side on Remus' glasses, slowly slipping them off.

"Wait, you don't need to do that. I really don't need a make-over, or change of any kind! The only reason I'm wearing glasses in the first," Gideon took his glasses off fully and gaped, as well as Fabian who whistled lowly, "place is because my contacts were accidentally thrown out," Remus tried to reason, but to no avail. His voice had kept getting higher and higher the more he panicked. People in his personal space? Not a thing he liked. What if they found out? What if he was judged by his peers? Or worse, what is he was kicked out of the school? "Can I have those back?" He asked, trying to make a grab for them, but Gideon and Fabian sped away, making a show of switching who was holding the glasses to try and confuse Remus.

Sirius walked over to Remus, clamping his hands on his shoulders, staring at Remus' face. "Just a few arrangements... James! Call my hair stylist?"

James sat down in a chair, phone in hand. "'Please'?"

Sirius' eyes flicked to the ceiling in disbelief, his head rolling around on his shoulders with irritation. "This is ridiculous." James gave him a look, glasses flashing. "Okay, fine. Would you please call my hair stylist?"

"Sure thing, Sirius," James said slowly, lips twitching into a small smile as he raised the phone to his ear. Sirius twisted around, slipping his arm around Remus' shoulders.

"Kingsley! Do you mind getting a new prescription of contacts for Remus?" Almost immediately, Kingsley ran out with a small nod. Why do they obey him at his every whim, practically? It was unsettling.

"Gideon! Fabian! You know what to do." Sirius stepped away from Remus as Gideon and Fabian jumped on him, each taking one arm and whisking him out of the room.

"What are you doing?" He asked as they stopped as what seemed a separate changing room. The twins pushed a set of blue material into his hands.

"Go, change!" They pushed him into a pair of curtains, following him inside. Remus tried shoving the blue fabric back at them.

"Hold on a second. Whatever these are, I can't either afford them nor am I going to wear them," he tried to reason, trying his best to go in the opposite direction. Don't make me change in front of you, he pleaded silently. Gideon threw the fabric onto Remus, watching as it helplessly landed onto of his head, covering him.

The twins smiled, leaning on each others shoulders. "It's just your uniform. Just try it on!" Gideon closed the curtain behind them, giving a look to Fabian who copied him.

Remus quickly threw the uniform onto the bench a few feet away before storming up to the twins. "Okay! Fine, I will, but you two have to get out," he demanded, twisting the twins around and pushing them outside the curtain. "And no peeking!" Remus quickly shut curtain tightly, making sure there were no creases where they could possible see him

_I don't think I can handle this, Alice._


	2. The New Look & The Old Reason

It wasn't until a couple hours later that they had finished with Remus who was currently hiding behind the curtain, staring at his reflection. A new haircut...glasses gone...expensive clothes. He looked like a new person. He studied the many imperfections that couldn't be fixed, like the bags under his eyes, the two scars that travelled across his face diagonally, his pale, sickly expression, too skinny body, etc. It made him look like a doll that was left out to rot. Remus looked considerably better though. Brushing the front of his suit, he straightened out a few stray wrinkles that occurred when he and the twins fought over it earlier.

"Are you done yet?" The impatient sentence was drawn out by Sirius' voice just outside the curtain. Remus sighed gently, eyes staring at the ceiling as if in a prayer.

After a few seconds of silent pep talk, Remus drew back the curtain, feeling empty without his shaggy hair and glasses. Sirius took a second to respond, gazing at Remus with an awed expression before he grinned. Sirius reached forward, grabbing Remus by the shoulders to twirl him around and around and around.

Remus put out his hands, trying to stop while his dizziness increased. "I think--I think you've gotten a good look by now. Could you please stop spinning me?" When Sirius let go, Remus nearly toppled over, feet tripping over one another. "Do I really look that different?" He steadied himself by leaning against the wall, his chin tilted up slightly.

Remus saw James nod as he wrote a few notes down in the black book. "You almost look like a completely different person, actually. You nearly look like a girl," James remarked, looking up for a small second. The one second their eyes met, Remus wanted to run, knowing that James just might know his secret. His eyes widened slightly as he straightened, hands slipping into his front pockets to hide the small fists.

Thinking that Remus was reaching in his pocket for money, James shook his head before exclaiming, "oh! Remus, don't worry about paying us for that uniform right away. It's already been added to your debt." Remus gave James an irritated glance before turning away, not wanting the others to notice.

The twins bent their heads, inspecting Remus, and in conclusion, they both nodded in agreement. "It must be the eyes," they added at the same time in that creepy manner of theirs.

Remus ducked slightly when he felt the weight of Sirius' arm land across his shoulders. "So, while you were getting ready, I came up with a great idea. If you become a host and get 100 girls to request you, your debt will be cut in half," Sirius announced, tapping Remus' nose with the tip of his finger. He scowled.

"A host?" Remus questioned, swallowing hard. "I'm not going to be able to do that," Remus began, but was cut off by Sirius who pushed Remus into a chair.

"Of course, you can do it! You're the new honor student. According to the details of the arrangement, you should be talented at several activities. Why can't being a host be one of them?" Sirius sat on the right arm of the chair, legs crossed. "You know what it entails to be a host, right? Just to summarize though, it's where young men, like us, take time out of their day to please girls with too much time on their hands," explained Sirius. "Many girls will request you. I can guarantee that. A lot of them will be curious about the new member," Sirius patted Remus on the head, "and then voila!" He winked at Remus before sliding off the chair. He quickly took Remus by the arm and pulled him out of the chair. Sirius led him to the door. "Go get 'em, tiger." He pushed the brunette through the opening, grin widening as he watched Remus find an empty table.

Peter trotted over to stand next to Sirius. "You know, he might even get more requests than you by the end of this week," Peter pointed out as a few girls were already making their way towards Remus.

Sirius snorted, keeping his eyes on Remus. "Not possible. I had more than 50 requests by the end of day three," he bragged, pointing a finger at his own chest.

"You know, it's weird that you keep track of how many girls request you."

"It's a lot less weird than carrying around a stuffed animal all day," Sirius fired back at Peter, lips pressing into a tight line.

Peter grinned at him, a mischievous look appearing. "You're just jealous." Though he didn't elaborate on what.

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"Am not."

"Are to!"

"No!"

"Yes, you are!"

Sirius pouted, folding his arms across his chest in defiance. His bottom lip stuck out with exaggeration. "Nope," he muttered at the ground. Peter only shook his head before joining Kingsley who had been left to entertain the girls while the others fixed up the newcomer.

~~~

Remus' hands wouldn't stop shaking, his foot tapping continuously to an unheard beat. The four girls sitting in front of Remus kept asking continuous questions that Remus wasn't sure to answer right. He knew the answer to his favorite color of course, but how would he entertain the girls? Sirius twisted his answers into compliments, the twins twisted the questions into relaying something about each other, Peter and Kingsley used the cuteness factor, and James? Well, Remus didn't actually know what James did, being he hasn't seen him with any girls that requested him. He always seemed to be on either his laptop or writing in that damn book of his.

"So, why did you join the host club, Remus? There must have been a reason," a girl with light blonde hair asked, twirling a few curls around her small fingers.

 _I can't exactly tell them about the money I owe_.

And then the light bulb lit. Remus smiled, knowing how he was going to do this. "Well, when I was younger, I was in a car crash with a friend whose name was Alice. She didn't make it," Remus paused, his hands joining in his lap to ease the shaking a bit. One of the girls pressed a hand to her lips, eyes filled with concern. "I thought being in this club would help me remember her more because I'll be able to speak with you ladies."

The girls pressed forward, eyes widening. "We'll help you remember her!" they exclaimed the promise with a couple apologetic smiles. A couple of the girls had to put down their drinks. "What was she like?"

Remus began to relay details, oblivious to Sirius listening in. "Aren't you going to ever come back to us, Sirius? I've been sitting here for quite some time," a familiar voice said. Sirius pushed off the edge of the doorway, making his way over to the couch where his cousin sat. "You've certainly cleaned up your new puppy." Sirius shrugged as he sat down next to her. All of the other girls appointments had ended, so Sirius and Bellatrix were alone.

His eyes kept flicking over to Remus and the girls he was talking to in interest. "Your appointment is over actually, Bella. Why are you still here?" He dipped his head closer, not wanting anyone else to hear.

Bellatrix flipped her curly black hair over her left shoulder. "Can't I see my cousin without judgment? It's only natural since you rarely talk to us anymore," she paused, licking her blood red lips. She didn't make any move to quiet down as well. "Many of the relatives are beginning to wonder if you're even fit to take over your father's position when you become of age." Something in her tone made Sirius believe that she was one of them. He turned away from her.

"I've already told many of them that I don't even want the position, and yet, they keep pushing it on me," he glowered, eyes cast down at the ground.

Bellatrix stood, smoothing out the creases in her yellow dress. "My next appointment is waiting," she threw out, ignoring Sirius' last statement.

Sirius frowned deeply. "But you don't have any more appointments with me today."

Sirius sat up, she waved a hand at him in dismissal. "I never said it was you, Sirius." She flicked her hand in a short wave before walking over to her new request. Sirius sat there in stunned silence while a single thought crossed his mind. 

_Why did she request Remus Lupin?_

_~~~_

Remus watched as the girls were replaced with only one in a matter of seconds as the clock rung for the new hour. _Bellatrix? Why did she request me?_

"Well, aren't you going to say anything?" she asked, eyebrow raised. Remus hadn't noticed that they had sat in silence for so long.

He smiled slightly. "I'm sorry. I was waiting for you to speak first. I though it would be more polite." He pointed down to her cup. "Would you like to get me to get you anything, Miss Black?"

Bellatrix  crossed her leg over the other slowly, the corners of her lips twitching. "Yes, but it wouldn't be anything to drink. I want you to answer me about something," she replied, reaching for the vase filled with flowers that sat on the coffee table between them. 

Remus nodded. "Okay. What is it?"

She plucked one of the flowers out, twirling it between two of her fingers. "I've always known men to be a bit more... _dim_  than us females," she began, lifting the flower up to her nose to take a whiff. Remus stiffened at the word 'us'. "I honestly can't believe that they didn't figure it out right away. _Miss_. Lupin, should you tell them or shall I?" Bellatrix smirked at Remus, eyes hooded from the layered on mascara. It would've looked ridiculous on any other girl, but for her, it fit.

Remus stammered, his heart racing. "I--I...what do you mean by 'Miss'?" He watched as she reached a hand into her bag before pulling out a small card. Remus' school identity card to be exact. It showed the picture from a week ago when he had to take a pic for the school. The long hair that traveled down his shoulders disgusted him deeply. "Where'd you get this?" He quickly took the card away from her loose fingers, shoving it in his pocket. Remus' face had paled by a considerable amount.

_I thought I could start out fresh here, Alice, and be the person I wanted to be. It turned out to be too good to be true._

Bellatrix set her purse on her lap, closing the snap loudly. "You really shouldn't leave your bag out, Remmie. Anyone could take it," she hinted before standing up. She threw a wink to Remus before sashaying away.

"She didn't," he whispered to himself in disbelief, looking around in desperation for his bag, but couldn't see it anywhere near where had set it down earlier. "She did," he concluded, staring at his still feet. His hands had stopped shaking, too. Slowly, Remus stood up, putting on a blank expression before walking out of the room, hoping no one saw.

As he walked down the hallway, Remus searched with his eyes, glancing at every corner until something caught his eyes outside the window. He walked closer to see the dumpster doors were open. He clicked his tongue before taking off at a quick run down the stairs and towards the exit. Hopefully, most of his stuff wasn't too far deep within the contents of the garbage. As he made it to the container, he peered inside to find all of his stuff scattered. 

"I really don't want to go in there, but my wallet..." Remus sighed, taking off his school jacket. He folded it neatly before setting it on the cleanest part of the sidewalk. Remus quickly set to work on grabbing what he could reach and throwing it at his feet in a hurry. The actual bag was the easiest to spot and the first to be grabbed, but after that it was a random mess of papers and books. 

It was about ten minutes later that Remus heard a voice behind him. "I knew that commoners liked to reuse things, but I didn't know it was to this level." Remus couldn't see the person since he was halfway in the dumpster, his lower half dangling on the outside. He knew without a doubt that the voice belonged to a certain Sirius Black.

"Well, you know the phrase. Reduce, Reuse, and Recycle. It comes in handy once in a while," Remus voice dripped with unhidden sarcasm as threw a pop can behind him, hoping that it hit Sirius. Hearing it thud to the ground, he cursed the miss. 

Remus heard footsteps walk closer until a shadow appeared. Remus lifted his head slightly to see Sirius peering down at him, eyebrows raised. "Remus, why are you fishing your school supplies out of a dumpster?" 

Shrugging, Remus went back to searching for his wallet. It was the only thing left that he had to find. "My bag was thrown out by accident, I guess," he admitted, purposely leaving out that the culprit was Sirius' cousin.

Remus nearly fell in the rest of the way when he felt a whoosh of air and heard a grunt before a body landed in the pile of trashbags in front of him. "Sirius, what are you doing?" He steadied himself before he could fall in as well.

"What does it look like?" Sirius stood up, stretching. "I'm helping you." Remus watched as Sirius crouched down, rifling through the bags.

"Oh, uh, you really don't need to do that, Sirius. I was really close to finding it."

Sirius turned to grin at Remus before slipping his hands under Remus' armpits and pulling the rest of him. "Now, you'll be even closer to finding it. Plus, your waist must have hurt like hell being in a position like that," Sirius pointed out before going back to what he had deemed his side of the garbage container. 

Remus didn't want to admit that his midsection had been killing him by being suspended like that, but he opted for just turning his back to Sirius and going to the opposite side of the dumpster. 

It didn't take long until Sirius yelled out, "found it!" He jumped up, the black fold resting in his palm. "It was right behind a bag of popcorn." Remus took the wallet from Sirius, gingerly. 

"Thank you," he murmured with a small nod towards the black haired boy. Remus turned back towards the opening, curling his fingers around the edge before he jumped out with the help of kicking off of a few trash bags. Sirius followed him nearly immediately after.

"From now on, don't leave your bag out, please," Sirius chastised, wiping off a few smudges from his sleeve.

Remus nodded, a smile returning. "I won't."


	3. To Reveal or Not To Reveal!

By the next day, Remus had gotten a routine of avoiding any of the host members in public. If he were to pass by one in the hallway, he'd instantly hide behind a bigger student, or a wall. If he was in class with one of them, Remus would immediately sit as far away as he could. The latter didn't work much with the twins. They were quite adamant about sitting with him. By the time class started, Remus would have a twin on either side of him.

Later, when he had found a time where the library wasn't as crowded, Remus had been able to finally get rid of them, and was able to finally read in peace. That is until he had noticed the time on his watch and cursed under his breath. "I really hope they don't hold this against me," he muttered as he gathered all of his books in his arms, and dropped everything else into his bag. The pile of books in his arms nearly made him trip since he couldn't see the floor in front of him. "I just have to get up those stairs, and then I'm home free."

Remus pushed open the door of the library with his hip before walking towards the staircase. This would be a sticky situation. Slowly, he edged his way up the stairs, his fingers gripping the books tightly. So many textbooks, and it was only the second day. When he finally made it to the landing, Remus sighed loudly with relief, eyes cast upwards with a smile to match. One obstacle down, countless others to go. He turned his body sideways to get a good look on the direction he needed to go towards the music room before he twisted back and walked blindly towards it. Barely a couple feet from it, he felt a slight breeze from the door being opened and then all of a sudden, he was on the ground, books spread out around him.

"Oh, dear me. I'm so sorry!" Remus lifted his head towards the female voice that didn't sound apologetic at all. Bellatrix smirked down at the boy that was sprawled on the ground. "You should really watch where you are going," she chastised with a click of her tongue. Remus sat up on his knees, head down as he tried to gather his books the quickest he could. She continued on, pretending that he wasn't ignoring her jabs, "I think it's funny that Sirius helped you out with your stuff. He should have just left you to it, really. Trash does belong in a dumpster, if I'm correct."

Remus sucked in a quiet breath, hands stilling on a book about the geography of Africa. "Sirius doesn't like you, you know. He only feels sorry for you. I do, too, honestly," she hissed at him.

Remus didn't watch her leave. The clicking of her heels were worse enough.

_Alice, it's only the second day and I'm already being bullied. I didn't think I'd be this pathetic._

It took a minute or so more for Remus to gather his books in a neat pile and to stand up. It took him another minute to be able to walk to the door. It took one more minute for him to be able to calm himself and open it, but it was already being pushed against his hand. For the second time that day, Remus found himself lying on the ground, staring at the ceiling blankly.

_This floor isn't too uncomfortable, Alice, if you get used to it._

"Remus, what are you doing on the floor?" Remus winced at the voice. He was starting to learn that Sirius was the master of bad timing. "Oh, did I knock into you when I opened the door? I'm sorry," Sirius apologized, grabbing Remus' hand to help him sit up. _Are you sorry? If Bellatrix was telling the truth, why are you apologizing to the likes of me?_ Remus watched Sirius as he bent down, helping Remus pick up the many books he had. How could he be so nice? Sirius caught him staring and grinned. "You aren't falling for me, are you? I couldn't blame you. I've been told that my looks are irresistible to many people," Sirius boasted as he handed a book to Remus.

A small blush landed on Remus' cheeks. "Wait, no! I'm just thinking about how someone with such a big ego could possibly be so nice…" he trailed off, stacking the last of his books on the pile.

Sirius reached over and grabbed half of the stack, and stood up. He didn't leave any room for Remus to protest. "There! Now, you won't be so blind when walking. Why do you have so many books anyways? It's not even a week into the first semester." Sirius reached down and helped Remus up. "'Big ego'? Anyone can be nice really. It's just that some people choose not to be." Remus stood straight, and nodded, solemnly. "Anyways, since your late, that will be 10 people added to the amount you need to request you," Sirius whispered as he opened the door and pushed Remus through the opening.

Remus scowled at the black-haired aristocrat before making his way deeper inside. The tables were already set up with many girls sitting in chairs in a relaxed manner. Most of the host members were already occupied with entertaining them. Even James was sitting with a couple girls across from him. Remus silently followed Sirius over to a table where they sat down the books. Sirius picked up the top one from the pile he had carried in and studied it.

"I've read this one, actually," Sirius pointed out.

Remus smiled. "So have I."

Sirius gave him a small pout before making his way around Remus and toward a group of girls that were without a host. _Did Sirius go out there just to find me?_ Remus frowned as he straightened the strap of his messenger bag. No, he couldn't have. He was probably just going out there for some fresh air, or to follow Bellatrix. Remus shook off the theory as he walked over to a table that he has silently claimed as his. No girls were there for the moment which relieved him. He didn't think he could handle any customers for the time being. The words the Bellatrix Black has said to him kept running through his mind, increasingly affecting him the more he thought about it. Remus couldn't help, but wonder if it was truly obvious. First James had thrown out that hint that he had known, and then Bellatrix. Remus didn't want to get thrown out of this school. It took too long to get here for him to back out now.

Sitting down, he tried his best to clear his mind for the time being by cracking open a book he brought over. Edgar Allen Poe was one of his favorite authors. So many stories and only a few made complete sense when read the very first time, but all were famous and still being read to this day. Truly remarkable to become an author and be remembered for years and years even after they die. Before he knew it, he felt the couch dip on either side of him.

Remus blinked hard before pressing his thumb against the page he was on and closing it. He looked up to see Gideon and Fabian lounging beside him. "I thought you had customers," Remus stated, eyebrows raising.

Gideon, who was on his left side, shrugged and picked at his nails. "They left early…"

"…and you looked lonely," finished Fabian who took Remus' book away from his hands. His thumb slipped out of the page he had been saving which caused dismay to the brunette. They crossed their legs at the same time. "So, naturally we came over here," they explained, chins tipped high.

Remus nodded, biting on his lower lip. "You didn't have to do that. I was reading."

"Yeah, but reading is boring at times. It's not a thing that's very fun," Gideon said. Remus stared at his book in longing as Fabian slipped through it.

"It depends on the person thou--" He was cut off by the bell, signaling that another hour had gone by. _That quick? Time sure does fly when I'm reading._

Fabian slipped the book onto Remus' thigh with a sly smile. "We'll see you later, Remus." Remus couldn't help, but watch them as they walked away. It puzzled him on how two people can be so perfectly in sync, and yet be very different. He noticed small things about the twins, like how Gideon's voice was lower and how he seemed the leader of the duo when it was actually Fabian. Remus also noticed how they changed the parts of their hair randomly just to mess people up. They were a mysterious pair, those two.

Enraptured in his thoughts, Remus nearly didn't notice the person that sat across from him. It took the sound of an impatiently tapping foot to pull him out of his thoughts, and when he did, he regretted it. "I didn't peg you as someone who read old literature," Bellatrix pointed out as she smoothed out her dress.

Remus took a deep breath, his hands knotting in his lap. "Why do you keep requesting me?" he asked softly. "I know you don't like me."

Bellatrix's red lips pursed in thought as if she was trying to think of an answer. "You're right. I don't like you, and I don't like your choices."

"I get it now," Remus urged, a small smile tainting his lips. "You're jealous of me because I can blend in so easily, while you can't." He stared at his lap, waiting for the girl to hiss her answer at him, and to spit more insults, but that didn't happen.

The silence turned stiff and uncomfortable. He felt a tug on his tie and was pulled forward. The table was knocked sideways as Remus stumbled, eyes widening when he landed on top of a screaming Bellatrix. A teapot shattered along with a couple plates. The shards flew and surrounded the two. "He attacked me! Someone _help_!" She yelled, pounding her fists on Remus shoulders.

Remus froze. "Huh?" Then it dawned on him. He was being set up. He quickly scrambled off of her, blood rushing to his face. It was a few seconds later when he heard the running of feet and then water doused over him…and Bellatrix. Remus glanced up in bewilderment, confused on why no one was attacking him or pulling him away, and as to why water was poured on him and Bellatrix.

Bellatrix sputtered, "why did you throw water on me, too?" She glared up at them. "He is the one that attacked me! Teach this commoner a lesson," she yelled, hands balling into fists.

Sirius grabbed Remus' arm gently and pulled him up. "Sorry you got wet, too. The twins got a little carried away." Sirius slightly pushed Remus backwards towards James who pulled him away. "So, Bella, why is it that you are only now showing your true colors?" He reached down and picked her up as easily as a feather before quickly letting go of her as soon as she was steady.

Remus swallowed deeply, eyes wide and turning slightly wet. _She's going to tell them, isn't she?_

Sirius slipped his hands into the front pickets of his trousers, chin tipping downwards. "I hereby ban you from being a participant in the host club. You might be my cousin, but I don't tolerate anyone who lies," Sirius announced in a firm, low voice. "If it's one thing I'm certain about, Remus isn't the sort of person to attack someone." Remus let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding, relieved until Sirius added the last part, "oh, and Remus, due to the broken items, the amount of requests you need have gone up 20." Remus' mouth dropped open.

Bellatrix's mouth started opening and closing, but not sound would come out. It took her a few seconds before she could catch her breath. "You can't do this! I--I…Sirius! You have a girl as a host member. How can you allow that?"

Sirius' eyebrows furrowed. "'Girl'?" he questioned. The twins who were behind him nudged each other with a hidden wink. "What are you talking about?"

James stepped in, opening his black book. "Ms. Black, I think it's about time you leave before you make a bigger fool of yourself," he countered, waving a hand at the crowd of onlookers that surrounded them.

Bellatrix spun, glaring with a certain level of hate as she realized how this would look if it reflected on the family name. "You'll hear from me soon enough, Sirius!" she promised before running out of the room in a hurry.

James stepped over to the drenched boy. "Remus, we might have some spare clothes in the changing room, if you'll follow me." He didn't leave any room for protest as he sauntered over to the doors. Remus quickly followed, running a hand through his hair to try and get the wet strands out of his face. He could almost feel the stares from the onlookers follow him as James closed the doors behind Remus. James shoved a bag at Remus' chest. "Here you go. Sorry if it's small, but it’s the only thing we’ve got." Remus peeked inside before thanking him, and disappearing behind the curtain.

As he changed, Remus listened as a few voices joined in the room. One became progressively closer. "--check on him." The curtain was thrown back a jar, spilling light into the changing room. "Remus, hey, are you…okay?" Remus must have jumped five feet into the air, covering his binder with the coat of his uniform. He stared like a deer caught in the headlights at Sirius who had in his hands a couple of towels. Sirius mirrored the expression almost perfectly.

Remus gasped softly before pointing a finger. "Ge--Get out!" he yelled, face returning to a bright red hue. The curtain slammed shut with a stammering Sirius behind it.

~~~

Sirius edged the door to the changing room open, gripping a couple of towels he had snatched, and immediately James lounging in a chair, but no Remus. The twins were right behind him as was Peter who was followed by Kingsley.

Peter scrambled inside quickly, concern etched on his face. "Do you think he's okay?" Peter asked, Padfoot crushed between his hands.

Sirius shrugged, walking over to the curtain. "Sirius, I wouldn't do that if I were you," James warned behind his black book as he scribbled notes down.

Sirius disregarded the warning with a wave of his hand. His other clutched the edge of the curtain. "I'm just going to check on him," he reassured before pulling back the curtain about a foot. His eyes searched the changing room. "Remus, hey, are you," his eyes landed on the boy,"…okay?" He froze, mouth dropping open in surprise as he took a long look at the boy who stood with a weird sort of bra over his chest. He almost didn't here Remus yelling at him to get out until James pushed Sirius away and slammed the curtain shut. Sirius stumbled backwards, hand moving over his mouth as his pale face turned brighter. "So, Remus is…"

James returned to his seat, a sly smile appearing as he watched Sirius' face fade into a deeper shock. "That's for him to tell, not me," he chuckled.

The twins were only amused, having figured out yesterday. "Well, he got you, boss," they mocked, leaning against each other.

Peter seemed unfazed, clutching the stuffed animal to his chest. "I though Remus acted funny. Especially when I called him 'Remmie'," he admitted with a small shrug.

Kingsley nodded in agreement with a small, "yeah."

The curtain slowly opened, revealing Remus in a dryer school uniform. "So, you guys found out," he said, blandly, skin paler than it usually was. It made his scars become more noticeable against his skin. His nerves had completely gone away in a rush it seemed just right after Sirius had saw him. He felt…empty.

Sirius stared at Remus, looking him up and down in a hurry. "So, Remus, you're a girl?"

Remus pushed up his sleeves slightly as he stayed inside the entrance of the curtain. "Well, biologically speaking, yes, but my actual gender is male. To put it in easier terms, I'm transgender," he explained, almost smiling as well as he saw Sirius' reaction. Remus turned to James, slowly. "So, I'm guessing you've known since yesterday?"

The twins linked their right elbows and ran around in circles, yelling, "plot twist, plot twist, plot twist!"

James nodded slowly, pushing his glasses up with a small smile. "Yes. It wasn't hard to figure out, and besides, I always run background checks on anyone involved with the club." _That's a bit excessive_ , Remus thought, but brushed it off.

Remus rubbed his chin, slightly. He thought he'd be more freaked out by his reveal, but now, it didn't seem as scary. It was actually more of a relief since he was finally able to tell someone who wasn't his parents. "You know, being a host probably isn't that bad. I don't mind the chicks at all, really," he muttered to himself. "Bellatrix was probably one of the only ones to notice being that she was able to grab my I.D. card yesterday."

He frowned slightly, feeling the twins put one arm around him each and lead him away from Sirius. "You know, you should really stay away from perverts," Gideon threw a look at Sirius who glared back, "he was probably just trying to sneak a peek."

Remus looked over his shoulder, frowning. "Sirius, I never would have thought you were the type…"

Sirius sputtered, pointing finger at the twins. "I'm not! Don't listen to those liars!" Remus could only smile at his response.

_Maybe this school year won't be so bad after all, Alice._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys. I'll be posting chapters either everyday or every other day, depending on my schedule. Sorry if some of my characters are inconsistent. I never knew how hard it was to do a crossover.
> 
> Well, I hope you guys enjoy!


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